Sorry. Female Space Marines would attract Space Bears

Kinpatsu Cosplay: WH40K Space Marine
February 15, 2020
Categories:Rogues Gallery

A couple of years ago, military-related news feeds were full of stories about female Ranger School graduates, female infantry officers for both the Army and the Marine Corps, even a large number of female enlisted Marines headed for SOI (the terrestrial School of Infantry mind you; nothing to do with any Space Marine training).

It wasn’t too much later that we began hearing the all too predictable calls that females also be allowed to fight in the ranks of the Legiones Astartes (the Emperor‘s Space Marines).

Sisters of Battle Squad (Warhammer 40K cosplay)

This polite young lady is part of the Sisters of Battle squad.

WTF.

Sisters of Battle cosplay by Rudy Chaos.

Sisters of Battle cosplay by Rudy Chaos.

Remember, the DoD lifted all gender-based restrictions on military service as of 01 JAN 16, so perhaps this was inevitable. No matter what the Principia Belicosa might say.

For the Emperor!

Space Marines: “For the Emperor!”

Do Social Justice Warriors just have no concept of reality? Females can’t be Space Marines, nor even Chaos Marines (which would be more likely, as anyone who has dated a hot female can attest). As Breach-Bang-Clear reader Matt Hunt pointed out,

“Their periods would attract space bears!”

Female space marines would attract space bears.

Female space marines would attract space bears. It’s science.

Point and Click Bait writer Til Colwill recently addressed this very matter, making some extraordinarily cogent points while doing so. Here, read an excerpt:

“Right from the start, a candidate who wants to become a Space Marine must undergo a harsh and brutal series of tests designed to weed out the weak and infirm. This is identical to my own difficult life, where I needed to catch the bus to the Games Workshop store and the bus would sometimes be late…Once these brutal trials are passed, the organ implantation begins. Right here we have another insurmountable barrier for women: these highly scientific and complex organs are created in such a way that, as the Codex Astartes clearly states, they are only compatible with men…”

Sisters of the Adepta Sororitas

Sisters of the Adepta Sororitas: Space Marine genetic upgrades won’t work on space LADIES! (Unknown photo credit.)

Female space marine, unknown PC.

Warhammer 40K cosplay: unknown photo credit.

“…These are serious science organs like the Omophagea, which allows a Space Marine to learn by eating genetic material, or the Betcher’s Gland which turns the Space Marine’s saliva corrosive and poisonous. This is hard science! Do women think they can come in and mess with this stuff just because it’s “entirely fictional”?

It's spaceMAN not spaceWOMAN.

It’s spaceMAN, not spaceWOMAN. That’s an historical fact!

“And here’s another thing — Space Marines aren’t even sexual! Their sex drive and desire to procreate is completely bred out of them, to turn them into sexless warrior golems who exist only to kill….Space Marines also have access to the finest arms and armour so that they can defend the Imperium against the mutant, the witch and the alien. This technology was invented by the Emperor himself, who is a psyker of incredible power and limitless knowledge, and — pay attention here, feminists — a MAN.”

Natalya Blinkova: Warhammer 40K cosplay

Natalya Blinkova is clearly not a man. She’d make a terrible Space Marine…though damn do we like to look at her.

Sexy Warhammer 40K cosplay

She may well become one of our new favorite Instagram models!

Is it possible for a psyker of incredible power and limitless knowledge to transcend the constraints of society and biology and to exist as a being of pure energy? NO. The being of pure energy needs to have a dick and use male pronouns…”

Female space marine cosplay Khelga Khromaya.

There’s much more to it than the little snippet we’ve posted here. You should read the whole thing.

Female space marine cosplay Khelga Khromaya.

Female space marine cosplay Khelga Khromaya.

Female space marine cosplay Khelga Khromaya.

If you want to read about a successful integration of females into a mechanized military unit (in Denmark, not the United States, and certainly not the Adeptus Astartes) you can do so in this article right here: it’s the story of one of our contributors, a combat veteran infantrywoman who was never eaten by a bear but did have to learn to pee standing up with a tactical tinkle tube.

Captain Vansen (Kelly Cloke): Space Above and Beyond

She doesn’t work for the Emperor, but remember this Space Marine? That’s Captain Vansen (Kelly Cloke) fromSpace Above and Beyond.

Kristen Cloke from Space: Above and Beyond

Here are a few more delusional females who nonetheless make their Space Marine battle rattle look good.

Female Space Marines

Sisters of Battle

That moment you see the Adepta Sororitas headed out to do battle.

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

Female Space Marines

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2 Comments

  1. Core

    TF! The space sharks are circling.

    Reply

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