House Morningwood, a self-proclaimed noble house. It is the face and blog of the Mad Duo’s Breach-Bang-Clear Patreon account.
Patreon is a crowdfunding program through which our readers can help us stay in business — think Kickstarter or GoFundMe, but as a small ongoing monthly pledge to help keep someone like us in business. We based our Patreon program after a Game of Thrones style great house, with our own sigil and words and our own knights and smallfolk and irreverent smartassery.
You can learn more about our program, and what you get out of it, below.
Why bend the knee
⇒ Access to the Breach-Bang-Clear closed discussion group 💋
⇒ Permission to wander the aisles of the Morningwood Bazaar (up to 60% off various manufacturers) ⚔💰
⇒ You can be a (self-proclaimed) knight or even lord! 👊🚩 🏰
⇒ Loot when we have it to pass out 🎁
That’s right. Our supporters, from our miserable smallfolk all the way to our mighty lords and ladies, have permission to visit that most famous (and seedy) of bars, Nancy’s Squat & Gobble. They can also walk the bustling grounds of the Morningwood Bazaar cyber marketplace, a virtual open-air souk wherein one can buy the most splendid of tactical stuff and things for but a pittance of the normal price.
Note: The coupons and purchase codes offered in the “Morningwood Bazaar” range from 10% all the way up to 60%, so if you buy one piece of decent piece of gear in a year it has paid for itself. Plus, you’ll help us keep the lights on and buy beer.
Now, on to the good shit.
The Badge and Motto of House Morningwood1
Coat of Arms: Cendrée, a spear, Gules brunâtre proper, bendwise sinister beneath a fiery sun Or, in the fourth quarter two roundels azure, a bordure sable.
Words: Rise Before Dawn
Seat: Freedom, OK
Current Lord: Richard “Swingin’ Dick” Kilgore
Region: ‘Merica and the Frigid North of Frozen Canadia
Title: First Lord of Morningwood, Autarch of Nancy’s Squat & Gobble, Protector of Pervert Row at All Three Stages, Self Proclaimed Arbiter of What Is Right and Just, etc. etc. etc.
Ancestral Weapon: Kindness 2
Overlord: None. Wait, George Washington.
Founder: Swingin’ Dick Kilgore and Jake “Slim” Call
Founded: One night when they were drunk.
1Hat tip to Westeros.org for the template for writing up a noble house.
2Kindness is a gloriously well maintained, quite likely ensorcelled, 1917-built M1918 Winchester B.A.R. (Browning Automatic Rifle) with every possible high-end component. We’ll be writing the full story of Kindness soon.