I was wiping vomit off my face when Serjeant Hunt clambered up from his hatch, wide-eyed, and blinking. The bloody snot smeared across his face was his. The gore splashed across his helmet, and the side of his truck, was not.
If you are looking for the home of House Morningwood, you’ve found it — welcome!
BLUF: This is where you go to help Breach-Bang-Clear keep doing what it’s doing.
What would it be like if Meereen went the way of Mogadishu, with modern weaponry? It would be a shitshow, that’s a certainty. This is a story about a PMC dealing with just such a shitshow (serialized in several parts). Some of them may or may not wear the sigil of House Morningwood.
Long streams of tracer licked out from the shoulders of the Great Pyramid, lethal and languid.
Answering streams lashed back in graceful coils in an orgy of color, some from the streets, more from the ruined dome of the Temple of Graces. Lilac tracers of Tyrosh contested with Braavosi blue, both dueling the angry green of Volantis.
Moments later came the distant chatter of machine-guns, echoing across the sluggish brown water of the Skahazadhan. With it came a stirring of breeze, heavy with the river stink, old mud and new sewage, and the filthy brine of Slaver’s Bay.
This is just an explanation of our sigil and words. If you’re looking for the full story of House Morningwood, visit the maester. He can also help you if it burns when you pee.
Coat of Arms: Cendrée, a spear, Gules brunâtre proper, bendwise sinister beneath a fiery sun Or, in the fourth quarter two roundels azure, a bordure sable.
Some folks have asked if those were blue balls, and the spear behind the sun a phallic reference. Well…the name of the house is morning wood, and our motto is, rise before dawn, so wtf do you think?
Words: Rise Before Dawn
Seat: Freedom, OK
Current Lord: Richard “Swingin’ Dick” Kilgore
Region: ‘Merica and the Frigid North of Frozen Canadia
Ancestral Weapon: Kindness 2
Overlord: None. Wait, George Washington.
Founder: Swingin’ Dick Kilgore and Jake “Slim” Call
Founded: One night when they were drunk.
1Hat tip to Westeros.org for the template for writing up a noble house.
2Kindness is a gloriously well maintained, quite likely ensorcelled, 1917-built M1918 Winchester B.A.R. (Browning Automatic Rifle) with every possible high-end component. We’ll be writing the full story of Kindness very soon.
Here shalt though find a reckoning of all who hath sworn to Great House Morningwood. Rise before dawn!
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