Boobs are best: you’re engineered to love ’em.

February 14, 2019
Categories:Stuff and Things

Boobs. There’s an undeniable pre-disposition to why you love ’em, true story. In fact, you’ll find several indisputable scientific explanations about why they’re so compelling in the text, video, and pictures below. You’re not alone. We love boobs too — and not just “freedom tits” (q.v.) either!

It’s science.

Staring at boobs is one of our favorite pastimes (and good for our health).

Staring at boobs – she might not understand why we do it, but (properly informed) you can educate her!

Movement attracts the eye (as any good soldier knows). Here’s proof.

Bouncing boobs - it is hard to look away from them.

Maybe that’s why we especially focus in on bouncing boobs. Like these.

Bouncing boobs gif

(See what we did there?)

Watch this.

He makes a great point, right? This does look like a warm, secure place.

The best boobs are pretty much any boobs.

Or, a safe harbor for motor boating.

Huge boobs for motor boating

More on the topic of motor boating later.

Now, because we know that looking at boobs is actually likely to extend your lifespan, we’ve compiled a few for you to include in your diet and health regimen.

Warning: boobs ahead (SFW)

Warning: boobs ahead. (SFW, mostly)

Ah, bouncing boobs. Sometimes it’s the gentle undulations of everyday life.

Bouncing boobs

Boobs

Other times it’s the result of athletic activity or strenuous action. Like a brisk morning jog.

bouncing boobs

Or a relaxing bicycle ride.

Bouncing boobs

Or running for cover during a Nerf battle.

Boobs running and bouncing almost in slow motion

Or when you’re out on the range.

Boobs bouncing while out on the range

We sincerely hope she doesn’t get any hot brass down in that cleavage.

Or…whatever the hell this is.

Big boobs bouncing

Best boobs

What’re the best boobs? Well, the ones you can see of course. BUT, some boobs have more freedom than others. That definitely puts them in the category of best boobs. 

Some of the best boobs are freedom boobs

Some of the best boobs are freedom boobs

Some of the best boobs are freedom boobs

Bouncing boobs can be a little dangerous.

Big boobs bouncing while putting on jeans

We sure hope that poor girl doesn’t black her eye.

Oh, and remember when we talked about motor boating earlier? That’s just good, clean fun! If you’re allowed to do it, we recommend you do. Probably ought to ask permission first, though.

Huge boobs for motorboating

We like to motorboat boobs too. And according to Cosmopolitan’s Sexopedia, we’re not alone.

Bouncing boobs gif

Girls do it too – it’s not like we’re the only ones who enjoy it.

Always get permission. Or you might get boob-smacked.

Huge boobs gif: boob-slapped

That’s it for today. Be assured, we shall be updating this periodically.

Share the article with your friends if you care about their health and wellbeing at all!

Freedom Tits (mostly Heather Lynn, but not all!)

If you follow Mat Best, Black Rifle Coffee Company, or Heather Lynn (heatherlynnoh) you already know what freedom tits are. But here’s a reminder.

Heather Lynn originally coined the term "Freedom Tits"

Heather Lynn (@heatherlynnoh) originally coined the term “Freedom Tits”. As best we can tell anyway.

Freedom tits

There other perspectives on the matter, though!

Nice boobs and the American flag go together like peas and carrots.

Nice boobs and the American flag go together like peas and carrots.

freedom tits

 

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  1. Sorry Greg, but it's not just "Freedom Tits" | Breach Bang Clear - […] Check out the academically sound, philosophically reasoned explanation of why we all love boobs. […]

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