This is just an explanation of our sigil and words. If you’re looking for the full story of House Morningwood, visit the maester. He can also help you if it burns when you pee.
The Badge and Motto of House Morningwood1
Coat of Arms: Cendrée, a spear, Gules brunâtre proper, bendwise sinister beneath a fiery sun Or, in the fourth quarter two roundels azure, a bordure sable.
Some folks have asked if those were blue balls, and the spear behind the sun a phallic reference. Well…the name of the house is morning wood, and our motto is, rise before dawn, so wtf do you think?
Words: Rise Before Dawn
Seat: Freedom, OK
Current Lord: Richard “Swingin’ Dick” Kilgore
Region: ‘Merica and the Frigid North of Frozen Canadia
Title: First Lord of Morningwood, Autarch of Nancy’s Squat & Gobble, Protector of Pervert Row at All Three Stages, Self Proclaimed Arbiter of What Is Right and Just, etc. etc. etc.
Ancestral Weapon: Kindness 2
Overlord: None. Wait, George Washington.
Founder: Swingin’ Dick Kilgore and Jake “Slim” Call
Founded: One night when they were drunk.
1Hat tip to Westeros.org for the template for writing up a noble house.
2Kindness is a gloriously well maintained, quite likely ensorcelled, 1917-built M1918 Winchester B.A.R. (Browning Automatic Rifle) with every possible high-end component. We’ll be writing the full story of Kindness very soon.