Who We Are

The House Morningwood Hall of Faces - some of our Lords, Ladies and other Sworn Swords.

ūüö©This is a work in progress. Our maesters¬†will update it as best they can, whenever they can. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the occasional raven.¬†‚öĒÔłŹ

The Small Council

Lords, Ladies, and Knights Errant

Wish to see yourself here on this noble roll? Yearn for your own patents of nobility? Declare for House Morningwood: become a Sworn Sword.

The Small Council

Ryan Houtekamer

Lord of High House Chillycock, Master of Coin

Cold Is The Cock




House Chillycock has declared for House Morningwood

Ser Jon Duty

Lord of House Badmoon, Commander of the Morningwood Guard

Too Ornery To Die



Ser Jon Duty, Lord Commander of the Morningwood Guard


GW Ayers

Lord of House Grimm, Master of Laws: Justiciar of the Realm and King’s Headsman

Be Relentless



House Grimm - an ally of House Morningwood Lords, Ladies, Sworn Swords and Smallfolk


Lords, Ladies, and Knights Errant


Amanda MacDougall

Lady of House Charmagaryen

Black powder, red hair.



House Charmagaryen :an ally of House Morningwood Lords, Ladies, Sworn Swords and Smallfolk



Eddard “Fast Eddie” Hotspur

Homeless guy and Morningwood Herald

House Morningwood Lords, Ladies, Sworn Swords and Smallfolk



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No Mercy in Mereen | Episode 1

No Mercy in Meereen - Tactical Tyrion - Episode 1

What would it be like if Meereen went the way of Mogadishu, with modern weaponry? It would be a shitshow, that’s a certainty. This is a story about a PMC dealing with just such a shitshow (serialized in several parts).¬† Some of them may or may not wear the sigil of House Morningwood.¬†

No Mercy in Meereen

episode 1
episode 2

Long streams of tracer licked out from the shoulders of the Great Pyramid, lethal and languid.

Answering streams lashed back in graceful coils in an orgy of color, some from the streets, more from the ruined dome of the Temple of Graces. Lilac tracers of Tyrosh contested with Braavosi blue, both dueling the angry green of Volantis.

Moments later came the distant chatter of machine-guns, echoing across the sluggish brown water of the Skahazadhan. With it came a stirring of breeze, heavy with the river stink, old mud and new sewage, and the filthy brine of Slaver’s Bay.

Continue reading “No Mercy in Mereen | Episode 1”

Our Sigil and Words

This is just an explanation of our sigil and words. If you’re looking for the full story of House Morningwood, visit the maester. He can also help you if it burns when you pee.

The Badge and Motto of House Morningwood1 

Coat of Arms:¬† Cendr√©e, a spear, Gules brun√Ętre proper, bendwise sinister beneath a fiery sun Or, in the fourth quarter two roundels azure, a bordure sable.

The sigil of House Morningwood

Some folks have asked if those were blue balls, and the spear behind the sun a phallic reference. Well…the name of the house is¬†morning wood, and our motto is, rise before dawn,¬†so wtf do you think?

Words:  Rise Before Dawn

Seat: Freedom, OK

Current Lord:¬†Richard “Swingin’ Dick” Kilgore

Region:¬†‘Merica and the Frigid North of Frozen Canadia

The House Morningwood SigilTitle:¬†¬†First Lord of Morningwood, Autarch of Nancy’s Squat & Gobble, Protector of Pervert Row at All Three Stages, Self Proclaimed Arbiter of What Is Right and Just, etc. etc. etc.

Ancestral Weapon: Kindness 2

Overlord: None. Wait, George Washington.

Founder:¬†Swingin’ Dick Kilgore and Jake “Slim” Call

Founded: One night when they were drunk.

1Hat tip to Westeros.org for the template for writing up a noble house.

2Kindness is¬†a gloriously well maintained, quite likely ensorcelled,¬† 1917-built M1918 Winchester B.A.R. (Browning¬†Automatic Rifle) with every possible high-end component. We’ll be writing the full story of Kindness very soon.¬†


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